Monday, December 10, 2012

Why I'm Doing This

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."   H.L. Mencken

Because I feel like it, for one thing. Actually, the honest-to-God reason why is that Cracked destroyed a community of friends in an effort to defend it's resident drunk. A drunk that went too far by mocking and deriding the comedy that his own website employs, and it's readers enjoy. Hell, his own name is a pun, yet according to him, anyone that likes puns is the scum of the earth.

I could go on, but that story is covered at length here and other places. The point that shocked and devastated everyone involved is, using one excuse, (a supposed death threat on his Facebook page), his buddy, Jason Pargin, (David Wong), used a scorched-earth approach and banned/deleted hundreds of commenters that had been faithful readers for years, in some cases.

And us commenters were a family. We knew each other, we laughed, joked, made intelligent witticisms and generally just enjoyed each other's company. Thrown to the winds by a "comedy" website that tries so hard to pull off a carefree, "look at us, we're funny!" attitude that has now been shown to be a facade.

To expose the truth, that simple. To tap the internet on the shoulder and say, "Look at this clusterfuck by Cracked.com, a "yuk,yuk comedy" site". Is this worth the outrage and hurt we feel? Or, is it time to apply Head On to our sore rectums and move on?" 

I could go on, but I really don't care if some of you don't "get" it.

We do.

That's all that counts.

58 comments:

  1. TL;DR

    "Why I'm Doing This"

    "Because I'd feel to stupid to stop now, even if everyone - including myself - can see how idiotic this fetus of a movement actually is. And because I'm an old man who has nothing better to do with his time, of course, and I love trying to interact with the kids because it makes me feel relevant again. LoL!"

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    1. Thanks for sharing! Looks like you Cracked cretins are monitoring this failure of a blog quite closely, yes? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Irony: Calling someone stupid and then misspelling. Hilarious.

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    2. You know what is funny? even if you were by some miracle right about how stupid this is, spending so much time watching it and commenting every little detail makes you even more stupid, so, no matter how stupid it is, you are always one step ahead in stupidity. You realize that, right?

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    3. All this anger anonymous, you should let it go. For every disgruntled person like yourself there are a bunch of us who like this blog. And Ono's comments are sharp and interesting.

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    4. Thank you both. Yeah, I'd barely posted that when 20 minutes later the first Cracked stooge showed up. Yeah, they aren't worried at all...

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    5. At some point Ono, you're going to have to accept that the Anons coming on here aren't secret "Cracked stooges" and just people who have taken kindly to fucking with you. You're extremely easy to fuck with.

      Seriously - your answer to everything at this point is "Piss off you stooge of Cracked! You Cracked crony! You must work for Cracked because I don't like you!"

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    6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    7. Damn it! Where is the "like" button! Or if not that, where can I "vote" up posts!
      ...
      Oh, right. Well then. Which Anon that points out good points should I direct to, including myself?

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  2. I have been thinking, all these 'brave' anonymous coming here and attacking you Ono, with no balls to put on their names or aliases. Maybe you should make a new blog post about these fantastic people, who, despite repeating how much they despise the blog, can't afford a moment without reading it.

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    1. Indeed, except that would mean acknowledging their existence, which is all they want anyway. I'm screencapping it all, anyway. Did I mention that I'm writing a book about the whole mess? Because that's what I do? XD

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    2. Can you actually point us to a book you wrote, or are you just one of those people who "writes books"?

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    3. No, he calls out people for being Anon, without realizing that he's just as anon as the rest of us. Point out one of your "successful books", old man.

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    4. So Ono will engage literally every comment except the one that asks him what books he wrote. Funny...

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    5. I'm actually interested. I'd love to read one of your books Ono. I can't think of a better line of fantasy than what you've concocted here.
      ... Seriously though, you gripe about the lack of transparency and control on other sites, but you're unwilling to share your own contributions to the literary world?
      "I don't care what they say about me, just make sure they spell my name right!" -P. T. Barnum
      some would read your books just out of spite!

      I'm confused. You want to 'reveal' something, but you're unwilling to reveal yourself...
      I see a contradiction...

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    6. I will totally buy one of your books if you can prove they exist.

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    7. Why exactly would I, cretins? They are selling on Amazon, so everyone goes there and gives them a bad review? Riiiight. I don't need sales that bad, they're doing just fine. But, thanks anyway.

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    8. STARTING to doubt? I'm not convinced Ono is older than 13.

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  3. Unless we're all Ono...

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  4. No, that's definitely not true. I'm not Ono.

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  5. No you're not, you're me!

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  6. BWAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

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  7. Is that H.L. Mencken quote about masturbation? Because that would be very fitting.

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  8. Honest question, I've been following this thing since the beginning, and I side with you guys about it. But I'm not actually clear on what you're trying to accomplish. So what are you trying to accomplish? What is you end goal with this?

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    1. To expose the truth, that simple. To tap the internet on the shoulder and say, "Look at this clusterfuck by Cracked.com, a "yuk,yuk comedy" site". Is this worth the outrage and hurt we feel? Or, is it time to apply Head On to our sore rectums and move on?"

      That's all.

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    2. Ok. Thanks for the reply.

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    3. Thanks for being civil, a rare commodity around here.

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  9. Hey Ono

    I just wanted to comehere and tell that I'm totally with you on this. I just got banned for leaving a comment on the *8 Best Movies* piece of shit that ran today. All I did was tell them that I thought they should fire Brockway. It didn't even swear or anything! Then they deleted my post! So I reposted it, pointing out that it was deleted - and they deleted it AGAIN!

    That's when I got MAD and went into the actual forum, calling them out for deleting my post about how Brockway should be fired. And they deleted THAT as well! After a few more attempts to rep-ost my message they BANNED me! I PMed David SCHLONG to get my ban undone, explaining that I didn't do anything wrong and that he was being a faggot about it and they STILL didn't unban me!

    It's like Nazi Germany over there, and someone needs to spread the word! I'm glad this is here, man. You're one of us. Let's not let those Cracked Nazi faggots win! What they did was hateful bigotry and it was uncalled for!

    Ronny

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    1. "hateful bigotry", "Nazi Germany", "faggots"...

      *sighs and shakes head*

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    2. Already with these Cracked nazis coming in here to dis my shit? Hey march! Go back to your bitch wong! I didn't do nothing wrong! You act like your so much better then me, rolling your eyes at me - I'm a teacher! Are you surprised?

      Why are you even here? Just go back to cracked forums asshole. This place isn't for you.

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    3. I'm not cool with Ono's latest sayings...I mean the guys kinda sounding like Cheese or Wong himself. I really do side with you guys but I'm unhappy.

      Ono at first came off as a cool guy that agreed with me but he's saying stuff about homosexuals and using poor jokes to pass himself off.

      Let me just explain, I'm really gay, I love taking it up the ass, and I don't like the implications Ono uses to compare my love of the cock to being the only rational explanation of why Wong let's Cheese exist. Wong must be Cheese's boyfriend...okay let's just shift this to our gay audience.

      Dude, I've been rooting for the underdog but the underdog is trying to portray himself on un-friendly point. I am gay and you're telling me because I am gay I must have Wong as a boyfriend, that is not cool.

      Because I like to take a hard cock up the ass, I must also be a communist or something? Dude, don't compare me to other shit because you don't know how homos work. Do not compare ME to Cheese/Wong.

      I don't say horrible shit about other people because I don't like what someone might say. I just do it because I don't believe in the shit they're selling.

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    4. That's kind of the issue from the start here. Taking up issue with David Wong =/= this site. The people running this site are not innocent people hurt by Wong, they are bigoted and angry children trying to lash back at the people who justly banned them.

      I'm not saying that there are no just victims. But most of them are normal people who moved on instead of obsessing over it.

      The fact of the matter is that they are hurting their cause by being the perfect example of why people SHOULD be banned from Cracked. Not setting an example of peaceful people unjustly ripped from their favorite site.

      It's like if a bunch of dogs were thrown into a ditch for being uncivil, and to combat the claim, they all started calling each other fags and hit each other with sticks.

      It's sad.

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    5. Hey guys! What if... this blog is GOd.I'msostoned.

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    6. Not cool, Ronny. delwynmarch has been here since day one supporting me and is a great person, a lot more levelheaded that I am. Apologize to him and watch your language or get the fuck out. Clear?

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    7. Anon 1, it's a joke to demonstrate how everyone there sucks up to Pargin. Grow a thicker skin. Anon 2, I've said it before, your opinion of me and this blog means nothing to me. Anon 3, this blog isn't God, I am.

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    8. Jeezus, I'm sorry Ono. I thought March was one of these cracked niggos. I just want to support the cause. If you could tell me how I can do that, that would bee awesome.

      So I guess I'm sorry Dewyn. I though you were one of those Crakced faggots and I was wrong. I hope you can forgive me.

      Ono is there I way I can make this up to you? I want to be a part of this.

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    9. Srly, Ono. I want to be your prestige. Please respond.

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    10. Nothing sad about this.

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    11. Hey fuck you, Anon! you probably love gay! Look, I'm sorry I'm new here so I'm not used to the culture or watever. but there seems to be people here that stand behind whatever and insult you. That's disrehonest. It's crap. Is there not way to fix that?

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    12. Hey listen here dichole. Ronny Aint the dumb one. It's you. Donny isn't the one here coming to so pudunk shit site giving ronny shit. Ono is my Jew. He's al that and a bunch more@ Don't fuck him!

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    13. It's cool, Ronny, it takes a big man to admit he's wrong. Welcome to the club, pal. But, no more "fag" word. Capiche?

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    14. I love it, guys, and thank you. It's been lonely here, lol. Anons come here from Cracked and post sad, little, passive-aggressive comments like, "This is sad, blaargh" Ignore the bitches, they have no life.

      Or, chew 'em a new ass, whatever works. XD

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    15. Oh come on, Ono, don't tell me you're falling for Ronny/Ronn/Donny's fake support :P

      Also, Gay!Anon: I'm gay too, so yeah, I'm not happy about fag jokes. But "Go back to sucking Wong's dick" is not about homosexuality; it's about prostitution. It's about doing someone sexual favours in exchange for something (in this case, acknowledgement by Wong). However, when it crosses into obvious gay innuendo, it's indeed going way too far.

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  10. This is the only blog in the world where the comments are more entertaining than the content.

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    1. Dude, no one cares about your opinion. What part of that don't you get?

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Pretty fucked up, indeed. I'd say that comment being left there says it all, wouldn't you?

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    2. I actually pointed this out a couple of times, but it got lost in everything that was happening. So yeah, I'll repeat it:

      Cheese was out to piss people off.

      It's that simple. He wrote an article which he HOPED would annoy people, and then he sat back and WAITED for the angry comments. He says so right there on his Twitter. He even expresses disappointment when none come forth at first!

      And when the first death threat (supposedly) shows up on Facebook, he LAUGHS IT OFF.

      So no, the whole excuse that he freaked out because he got death threats out of the blue just doesn't hold. It wasn't out of the blue (he WANTED angry reactions) and it did NOT freak him out. It's all out there on his Twitter for anyone to see.

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