Friday, December 7, 2012

Cheese And Cracked Are Running Scared

              Sucks when a dark truth is revealed to the light of day, isn't it? A comedy website, maybe the world's largest, hates and despises it's readers. Yes, you heard right, it's readers, it's revenue. Have you ever seen another site do this? I haven't. And they are scared to death right now that this will go viral and everyone will know how hypocritical they truly are. "Come, write for us", they say. Yet, we've seen fledgling writers treated with derision in the forums if they say anything other than, "Yessir, Mr.Cheese/Wong, sir!" And God forbid a mere mortal reader stray into that cesspool. One word, one smileyface, one "lol" and you're banned.

                John Cheese, (Mack Leighty), is David Wong's, (Jason Pargin), best bud. He's also a miserable, relapsing drunk who is taking out his rage and hostility on anyone in sight and Wong takes up and covers for him. But this time the curtain has been pulled aside to reveal, not the Wizard, but the sad, dark, shameful truth.

                The truth that a comedy website is populated with some of the most cynical, hateful, downright despicable misanthropists that money can buy.

                And that's just wrong.

37 comments:

  1. "The truth that a comedy website is populated with some of the most cynical, hateful, downright despicable misanthropists that money can buy."

    Translation: a single one of the many Cracked editors (who doesn't even work at the main office) has a bit of misplaced loyalty to his childhood best friend, and this sometimes translates into problems with about 0.00001% of the site's readership.

    My God, it's like a horror movie.

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    1. A horror movie? Involving David Wong and John Cheese? Now you're talking crazy talk!


      ...oh wait.

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    2. ???? Is there...do we have...a...a...girlgurlgrrl...joining in? Defending US? The scum of the Earth? The chaff in the grindstone? The-aw, fuck it. Hey, girlperson! XD

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    3. ┼baphometinvert23┼December 9, 2012 at 5:20 PM

      Oh, sorry. girlgurlgrrl138 is me. I forgot what handle I posted under last time I was here.

      It's a reference to the movie "John Dies At The End".

      So, sorry to get any hopes up. Not here to defend, or to troll for that matter. Just harmlessly people watching. I may pop off a dumb joke here and there tho. Take care.

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  2. Oh, the horror is yet to come, sparky.

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    1. ??? A...sense of humor, of...being able to laugh? Am I dreaming?

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  4. This blog makes me sadder every time I read it. And I keep coming back to read it. It's the pro wrestling of blogs. I can't look away, but I want everyone involved to find something better in their lives.

    There's nothing fun or entertaining about what's going on here. It's just Obsessive Reader Anonymous. You're not creating anything - it's a blog devoted to beating the same dead horse over and over as it slowly decays while the crowd slowly disperses in disgust. I'm genuinely concerned for the well being of the people encouraging this to keep going - I find it to be sad on a very profound level. My bones are crying.

    Ono - at this point it's pretty fucking moot what injustice you have undergone because it's nothing compared to the ridiculous lengths you have gone to stretch out your anger. You're wallowing in misery - literally your own worst enemy.

    What you've devoted an entire blog to is something that most normal people get over in a day. Fucking move on with your life so I can stop feeling depressed about this. (Yes, this is self-serving.)

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    1. Aw, how sweet! Thank so very much for caring about my health and welfare! You are truly a wonderful individual to take time out of his/her busy and important day to visit little ol' shut-in Ono. My heart doth runneth over in great and multitudinous floods of joy and rapture! Now fuck off, while I go back to playing XCOM. Toodles!

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    2. Quite frankly, you should be far more worried about Cheese. He's the one who's gone off the edge of sanity :/

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  5. Why is this making you so mad Anon? And why you care about Ono so much? Obviously, people at Cracked didnt get over it either, as they are still banning accounts and deleting posts in comments, who dare as much as mention the thing, even week after the incident. Anyway, it is definitely not over, the fun just even started

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    1. Indeed, wait until it goes viral. And it will shortly.

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    1. I went there, this is what I replied,(it's awaiting moderation, lol):

      Talk about spin-control, wow. You didn’t bother to mention that those forum posts were a year ago, back before I realized how anal the forum is. The “Aren’t I wonderful” bit came from the “I am amazing!” crap you have to agree to before you can join the site. You know what? To hell with it. I’m not going to stay here and defend myself from one of Pargin’s toadies. Yeah, I’m 55 with three cats, a 2011 Cadillac in the garage and a sweet revenue stream from the books I’ve had published.

      Whatever. You and the other flunkies sure are interested in a measly little Reddit blog, why exactly is that? Hmmm? Afraid that a pattern of behavior stretching back years might be exposed to the glaring light of the internet? Why not ignore us if we’re so minor?

      Carry on, sparky. The fun hasn’t even started yet…

      OnoSendai

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    4. Yeah, because other people on the internet has heard rumblings and are going to check it out. It's okay, their day is coming.

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    5. As I've been saying: they don't understand how the Internet works, which is baffling for people who WORK on the internet. If they honestly think that it's automatically good to have "millions and millions" of pageviews IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHIT-STORM, then they are truly hopeless.

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    7. The same place Cheese got dozens of death threats, I suppose?

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    8. Hey there Bryan, welcome to the bandwagon of nonsense. I guess we all believed cracked was run by mature people, who would deal with situations like this like reasonable adults. Instead, they act like spoiled children, banning and deleting anything that slightly disagrees with them. I mean, at first I was baffled, now I can only feel disappointment.

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    9. Sad part is that it's been this way for years.

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    10. I see, but it wasn't clear for most of us until the recent events.

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  7. For a successful writer, you sure do make a lot of horrible writing mistakes. I didn't even have to finish the second sentence to see the most amateur mistake there is.

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    1. Sure, I will post vague critics about vague stuff here also to derail from the main topic.

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    2. There's nothing else to critique. The horse has been beaten a thousand times already, the only reason people still read this blog is the same reason people turn on Jersey Shore and go to the zoo: to see what the retards are doing today.

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    3. *Child-molested retards.

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    4. You got a point, it's hard to critique the main topic, as it is well elaborated. So, I think that derailing with vague stuff is the only alternative you've got.

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    5. If you say so.

      I wouldn't argue with the homeless man on the sidewalk who's screaming about government conspiracies and the apocalypse, because he's so far off the edge that any breath used would be one wasted.

      It's more entertaining to just observe the morons at work in passing for a minute or two a day. Continue to embarrass yourselves, thanks.

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    6. You are truly of a superior breed, I have to admit. In that case I have to thank you for sparing a part of your precious time, coming here and reading this blog, which is so beneath you.

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    7. Nobody put you down there but yourself.

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    8. Oh, but are too kind to me. You also spare a bit of your precious time to address someone as unworthy as myself.

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    9. Why do these stooges keep coming here if this is all so pathetic? Couldn't be for the opposite reason, surely? That we are blowing the lid off of the deep, dark, sad story of how a "cheerful and wonderful" comedy website despises it's audience? Nah, couldn't be. Stand back and watch as it happens, kiddos.

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